Guildblog
Archive

March 2013

Archive

Leeches and Beaches, Tribulation and Sorrow.

When on Guild business, there is only one acceptable way of doing things: 1. Turn up in a blaze of glory 2. Discover the fiercest or most impressively-named feature of the local area 3. Conquer it In the already fantastically-named Cape Tribulation, the most intimidating landmass happens to be Mou...

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Rain Forests and Pain Forests

After a day of hiking around Mossman Gorge in the Daintree Rainforest, we have returned to Port Douglas. Here, it is imperative that I perform a feat of strength. For tonight it is the Full Moon. Alas, finding feats of strength in a tourist town like this is not easy. Of hats, there are plent...

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Adventurethon 2013

Somehow, friends, I did it. 13km of open sea kayaking, 22km of mountain biking and 12km of trail running in the midday Australian summer heat. It was horrendously hard...but not for the reasons I expected. I expected the kayaking to be the killer. I'd never tried it before and I was certain I'...

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Burn In Heaven

I have not finished...but I am finished. I am also lost. In the Australian bush. God damn it. I have nothing left. The kayaking stole my strength, the mountain biking crushed my spirit and now here I am, face down in the sand. I am not getting up. I don't even want to. This is the most e...

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Send Rum!

By the time I pick up my mountain bike, my mind and body have separated. My body is a shell; a hollow, useless husk. Yet my mind is aflame. For the first time since I signed up for the Enduro Adventurethon, I believe I can complete it. A seemingly impossible 13km of sea kayaking are behind ...

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THE GUILDSMAN COMETH!

“If you don't know how to kayak, you may as well give up now.” So says this professional, in his pre-Adventurethon interview. Clearly he has never met an adventurer of The Guild before. We never give up. Ever. And we don't know how to do anything! Due to the weather (there has just be...

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Hubris in Paradise

I cannot kayak. This I now know for a fact. A deeply concerning fact... After a morning of exploring Townsville, I hitch a ride with over to Magnetic Island with Derek from Winner Kayaks. He is kindly lending me both a sea kayak and a mountain bike for tomorrow's Adventurethon. He has sugge...

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Costralianation

Names can be deceptive. This room, for example, should not be called the Virgin Lounge. Thus far, it has been a massive disappointment. In good news, the Guardians of Australia let me in! I knew they would. I'm obviously harmless and couldn’t find illegal work even if I wanted it, for which ...

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A Hat Full of Skyfall

Exactly 12 hours after we leave London, we arrive in Singapore. The intermittent time has been a blur of free sandwiches and watching hundred-million dollar movies on a faded 10 inch LCD display, through one side of my headphones. In an attempt to stave off sleep until it's Australian bedtime (th...

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Organisational Clusterfuck

Generally speaking, I don't prepare for things. I prefer to leap at things and see how they, and I, cope with the situation. However, there are certain essential items for any adventure I intend to undertake. So, in an uncharacteristically organised spree, I attempted to buy some things for my fo...

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Murorga Sim Bowa vs Crazy J: Official Video

Behold, my friends, an official video of me defending my EWA British Title against Crazy Jonny Jones, otherwise known as 15 of the most painful minutes of my life. [youtube height="360" width="640"]www.youtube.com/watch?v=67h6yp3KO94[/youtube] If you'd like to find out more about this match, p...

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