Kuranda Village Market

On our way from Port Douglas back to Townsville, we stop at the rainforest town of Kuranda. Today is Easter Saturday; on the downside, this makes the beautiful market busier than expected, but on the upside, there is a 'Scottish' band playing "Everybody Dance Now" on...
Posted On 30 Mar 2013
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Leeches and Beaches, Tribulation and Sorrow.

The local maps suggest leaving 6-7 hours to climb Mount Sorrow. This is because local maps are designed for the weak. A Guildsman does things twice as fast, at least. We decide to conquer the mountain in half the time and set off a mere 90 minutes after the advised latest...
Posted On 29 Mar 2013
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Crocodile Hunting on the Daintree River

After a morning of crocodile-hunting on the Daintree Rivier, we spend the afternoon at Cape Kimerbly, where I amuse myself by rolling around in the sand and playing with an large stick. I am essentially a child. Much as we would like to foray farther into Cape Tribulation...
Posted On 28 Mar 2013
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Rain Forests and Pain Forests

After a day of hiking around Mossman Gorge in the Daintree Rainforest, we have returned to Port Douglas. Here, it is imperative that I perform a feat of strength. For tonight it is the Full Moon. Alas, finding feats of strength in a tourist town like this is not easy. Of...
Posted On 27 Mar 2013
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Adventurethon 2013

Somehow, friends, I did it. 13km of open sea kayaking, 22km of mountain biking and 12km of trail running in the midday Australian summer heat. It was horrendously hard...but not for the reasons I expected. Here, for your amusement, is a local news video of my Adventurethon...
Posted On 24 Mar 2013
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Burn In Heaven

I have not finished...but I am finished. I am also lost. In the Australian bush. God damn it. I have nothing left. The kayaking stole my strength, the mountain biking crushed my spirit and now here I am, face down in the sand. I am not getting up. I don't even want to.
Posted On 23 Mar 2013
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Send Rum!

By the time I pick up my mountain bike, my mind and body have separated. My body is a shell; a hollow, useless husk. Yet my mind is aflame. For the first time since I signed up for the Enduro Adventurethon, I believe I can complete it.
Posted On 23 Mar 2013
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THE GUILDSMAN COMETH!

“If you don't know how to kayak, you may as well give up now.” So says this professional, in his pre-Adventurethon interview. Clearly he has never met an adventurer of The Guild before. We never give up. Ever. And we don't know how to do anything!
Posted On 23 Mar 2013
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Hubris in Paradise

I cannot see how I will complete the Adventurethon; I have been here 24 hours and already been hauled from the sea in a tangle of hats and pride. I am doomed. Such is the price of my arrogance.
Posted On 22 Mar 2013
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Costralianation

Names can be deceptive. This room, for example, should not be called the Virgin Lounge. Thus far, it has been a massive disappointment. In good news, the Guardians of Australia let me in! I knew they would. I'm obviously harmless and couldn’t find illegal work even if I...
Posted On 21 Mar 2013
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