Guild Adventures

Climbing The Highest Volcano

So there I was: lost on the side of an active volcano, simultaneously burning in the fearsome Spanish sunlight and freezing in the snow. The only way to ascend was to wedge my boots in place, punch my fists through the ice to create handholds, kick my boots in a bit higher, and...
Posted On 29 Mar 2016
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Ghost Squad 2016

The mighty Ghost Squad rise, for yet another day out on the Killing Fields.
Posted On 03 Feb 2016
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Please Help Fund My Book!

My book is finally complete! You get get it for super cheap by backing it right now!
Posted On 26 Dec 2015
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Photos from Nettle Warrior

Today, a photo of me appears alongside a view of the Earth from space, as Yahoo News' Pictures of the Week...
Posted On 03 Aug 2014
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Secret Caves and Ullswater

This week, the Guild struck out for the Lake District in search of a secret cave somewhere in the Langstrath Valley. We didn't find it, so we claimed Ullswater instead!
Posted On 21 Sep 2013
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To Fishguard…and Beyond!

This weekend we gate-crashed a romantic getaway in Wales, with the intention of going deep water soloing. We drank rum and ale, we feasted on meats and we cavorted beneath a nearly full moon.
Posted On 22 Jul 2013
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Adventure Inspiration

You don't need anything special to have a badass adventure. All it takes is balls. And a map. And maybe multicoloured socks...
Posted On 01 Jul 2013
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Climbing Mount Doom

"You will not have time to climb Mount Ngauruhoe today" says my bus driver. He has clearly never met a Guildsman. This is Mount Doom...and I SHALL climb it!
Posted On 08 Jun 2013
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Views from a Mountain

There is no way around it; I cannot get up Mount Taranaki. Even if it wasn't insanely dangerous in the middle of this cold snap, nobody will lend me any gear. Instead, here are some photos from the top of Mount Luxmore.
Posted On 31 May 2013
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Mental Warfare

Today, it is way too cold to climb Mount Taranaki. Tomorrow the weather will be better. So I wait… …and eat cake…and drink tea…and stare at Mount Taranaki. I’m getting inside its head. Psyching it out for the big day. I’m playing mind games...
Posted On 29 May 2013
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Leeches and Beaches, Tribulation and Sorrow.

The local maps suggest leaving 6-7 hours to climb Mount Sorrow. This is because local maps are designed for the weak. A Guildsman does things twice as fast, at least. We decide to conquer the mountain in half the time and set off a mere 90 minutes after the advised latest...
Posted On 29 Mar 2013
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I Want To Climb Trolltunga

For one thing, its name means Troll's Tongue in Norwegian. If that isn't enough to make you want to ascend it, you're in the wrong place and there is already a warrant out for you immediate en-awesomeing.
Posted On 01 Feb 2013
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Peak Number Three: Ben Nevis

First came the dust, then came the stones. Stones turned to grass, grass turned to rocks and rocks turned to snow, ice and regular suggestions that we don some clothing. Needless to say, we did not.
Posted On 06 May 2012
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Peak Number Two: Scafell Pike

At 08:30 we awoke, magnificently, in Truck Haven. After conquering Snowdon the night before, we had set out at midnight for Scafell Pike, covering 150 miles of our 216-mile drive before practically falling asleep at the wheel. Two enormous breakfasts later, we were back on the...
Posted On 05 May 2012
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Peak Number One: Snowdon

Bored with the lack of adventure of everyday life, Simon and I decided to climb the three peaks.  We also decided that, given our love for food, beer and epic bleak photography, we didn’t want to rush up and down in 24 hours, as is traditional.  Instead, we set out for a...
Posted On 04 May 2012
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Training for the Three Peaks

As Champion of Murderbeers, my responsibilities are vast ‎and never-ending. Quash a rebellion here, fend off the Ice Giants there; if it’s not killing one thing, it’s conquering another. So, when the Emperor looked out from Murder Mount and realised that England,...
Posted On 04 May 2012
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22 Press Ups for 22 Days

Here is my small contribution towards spreading awareness of the suicide epidemic that is related to military service.
Posted On 16 Sep 2016
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Spartan Race World Championships

I made it around the Lake Tahoe Spartan Beast: 15 miles up and down a mountain. The running part was horrible, but the company made up for it!
Posted On 04 Oct 2015
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12,320 Steps Too Far

Tomorrow we leave for Lake Tahoe, to run the most horrific Spartan Beast course ever designed. And I am in the worst shape I have been in since I first did a race... Shit.
Posted On 02 Oct 2015
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Nettle Warrior 2014: Catalysts of Glory

When not pushing ourselves as hard as humanly possible, the Guild is dedicated to helping others push themselves as hard as they can. We are Catalysts of Glory.
Posted On 14 Jul 2014
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Tough Guy 2014

Perhaps you are wondering why I have given no account of the Guild's exploits at Tough Guy 2014. There is a written account: you can find it in Obstacle Race Magazine!
Posted On 21 Mar 2014
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Genesis MMA Challenge

For some reason (possibly because I am a huge fan of theirs) I agreed to take part in the Genesis MMA Gym's December Fitness Challenge. What ensued was three hours of total madness.
Posted On 18 Dec 2013
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Tough Guy Nettle Warrior 2013

Armed only with hangovers that would kill lesser men, the Guild of Adventures peeled ourselves off the floor of a barn, fashioned crude running shorts out of our trousers... ...and stormed the Killing Fields of Tough Guy Nettle Warrior 2013.
Posted On 29 Jul 2013
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“If you don't know how to kayak, you may as well give up now.” So says this professional, in his pre-Adventurethon interview. Clearly he has never met an adventurer of The Guild before. We never give up. Ever. And we don't know how to do anything!
Posted On 23 Mar 2013
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Here Be Monsters: Body Building in London

In this video, I push myself to the absolute limit, training with training for Adventurethon 2013 with Robster Le Monster. Then I fall over and throw up.
Posted On 20 Feb 2013
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Photos from Birmingham Super Spartan Race 2012

After all my ranting and raving about the disorganisation of Spartan Race, it turns out their photos had been uploaded all along. They simply didn’t tell us. They also labelled them somewhat confusingly. Anyway, here are some of them:
Posted On 02 Oct 2012
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At the Olympic Stadium

I am just about to walk into the Olympic Stadium for the London 2012 Games...and run the 100m sprint. How exactly I have ended up here is unclear. I do, however, know it involved dozens of generous people, all of whom I can't thank enough for everything they have donated to this...
Posted On 01 Apr 2012
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One Tough Day

Tough Guy 2012 was 9 days ago. Since then, all the exercise I’ve managed is a couple of hours of submission wrestling on Thursday, a deadlifting and back session at the gym on Monday and a bench press and chest session this evening. Hopefully, these pictures will explain...
Posted On 07 Feb 2012
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Tough Guy 2012: Year of the Lion Heart

I did it. I am now, officially, a Tough Guy. This is no thanks to my physical fitness or preparation; it was nothing but grim, visceral determination and a lifetime's worth of being-an-idiot rolled into one.
Posted On 30 Jan 2012
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Wycombe Half Marathon: COMPLETE!

The half marathon is is over. Over. Thank the Gods! Having never really attempted anything like it, I decided to try to run 10-minute miles for the whole race. Being a 13.1 mile race, I should therefore finish in 2 hours and 11 minutes. If I managed to pull something out of my...
Posted On 18 Jul 2011
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