Forging the Emperor’s Blade

24 years ago this very day, the Great Smith in the Sky forged my own Brother in Thunder, Emperor Matthias Bunn of Murderbeers.

With him, I have feasted, reveled and lifted for time immemorial.

Me and Matt

Together with my Brother in Blood, William Billiam, we carved our path through the cities of Europe and danced through Thailand, to the song of Mr. Whiskey. Alongside my Brother in Iron, Simon Bunnslayer we drank and sang our way through to the mountains of Poland and discovered what it was to be as beast.

It was he who first uttered the name Murorga Sim Bowa which, for over a decade, has been the name under which I have performed all my wrestling shows.

It was he who permanently disfigured both my brother’s right hand (by slicing it open in a duel) and my own left hand (by breaking two of my fingers in a wrestling match).

It was he who named me Champion of Murderbeers, the title that has justified my drunken debauchery for the last two years.

It was he who led the way in my pilgrimage to see the Man Punching a Hydra and helped me drown my sorrows when we realised he was caged away.

The greatest gigs I have witnessed, he witnessed also. He even offered me his own bed whilst I trained in the noble art of lifting; a sacrifice I only realised the next day, after sleeping on the floor.

Over 24 years, he has seen me at my mightiest and lowliest both. And we have sung. Oh how we have sung.

It was in his honour, therefore, that I stepped up to the anvil today…and forged my first blade.

About the Author
Ed Gamester is a silly man who lives in the United Kingdom. He is the harbinger of Ghost Squad, singer of Gay Bum and author of A Rum Run Awry. He fights, kills and dies for TV and films, and gallivants around the place wrestling, drinking and lifting things for glory and profit. Where Ed treads, there stamp the boots of the Guild. Ed does not wear glasses, but feels this photograph makes him look more intelligent and artistically talented than he is. Feel free to contact him: he is disappointingly affable.

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