I have received a written report following my check-up with a Gold Medalist physician. It turns out he recommends I stop doing everything that makes me who I am, including drinking beer and lifting things.
I response, I went to the gym…and deadlifted the biggest thing I have ever lifted. It weight 210kg, which is only 15kg off my target of 225kg.
The physician strongly recommends I avoid the following from now on: bread, pizza, cheese, mushrooms, coffee, chocolate, sweets, cake, fizzy drinks and beer.
My normal diet is: breakfast coffee, some kind of sandwhich-based lunch, a dinner of pasta with cheese or pizza, followed by lots of cake.
Instead, he recommends I try a breakfast of carrot, apple and ginger juice, followed by water and herbal tea. His recommended lunch is vegetable soup and dinner is salad and fish.
He says I should definitely completely stop punching things and cut down on the amount of heavy lifting I do, replacing it with stretching and long walks in the fresh air.
I hit and lift things on 4 out of every 7 evenings of my life. I dislike walking. Especially walking for an extended period of time.
Needless to say, I shall not be paying any heed. My well researched counter-argument is as follows:
“Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “WOW, what a Ride!” – this has been attributed to far too many people for me to care who actually said it first.