I Blame My Father…
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4NPgPNku2fo?hl=en&fs=1&w=425&h=349]Today, I did my first ever…run. Well, one of my first ever runs… My first ever training run, where I’m training myself to run again, but farther. Get it? No? Good, nor do I – RUNNING MAKES NO SENSE TO ME!!
I’ve recently become very aware that I’m meant to be running a half marathon in July. This scares me a little, because I have never, ever run anywhere or for any significant amount of time…
I’m not a runner, nor am I a jogger – Hel, I’m hardly even a walker! I’m an ambler, a stroller and a saunterer; I’ve been known to strut and, at times, pace but, although I sidle from time to time and occasionally stalk (when hunting wildlife or lesser humans), I don’t run.
Except for when I’m about to miss a train. Then I run, in short, sharp bursts along platforms – certainly not 13 miles to Bourne End and back again!
I’m therefore approaching this half marathon not as a sensible runner, with a considered training regime, but in the same way I approach pretty much everything else; “Meh, how hard can it be?”. You see, when I see people doing things I normally think to myself “Yeah, I’m pretty sure I could do that” – not necessarily through sheer arrogance, but because I am guided by some bizarre belief that one can ‘get the hang of’ just about anything if one does it a few times.
I blame my father. As anybody who knows Steve Gamester will attest to, the man is capable of doing absolutely anything after 3 trial attempts. Fact. Having grown up with this to aspire to, I’m now pretty sure that – as a man – I should be able to do the same. In the case of a half marathon, the last one my dad did was in his mid-50s when, after no training whatsoever and a massive piss-up the night before, he crushed the half marathon in 2 hours. I HAVE to equal this, at least in terms of time, if not lack of training and drinking.
The Wycombe Half Marathon is 13.1 miles. To do this in 2 hours will involve running at around 6.5 miles per hour (or 10.5 km per hour) on average. So, by means of training, I decided to set a treadmill to 10km per hour and run for a quarter of this time – a mere 30 minutes. I’m sorry to report that it wasn’t as easy as I was hoping…
….bugger.
My new plan, therefore, is to continue running at this pace, but increase the distance by around a kilometre per week over 12 weeks, until I’m approaching the full distance. Alternatively, I will practise covering the entire distance (by stopping at intervals), until I can do it without stopping – then I’ll work on doing in 2 hours. Then I’ll take to the road to practise for real…
…of course, none of this takes into account the hill…
…bugger. Again.