Routeburn Track Day 1: Glenorchy Walky

This is not how I imagined starting my three day hike through the glorious mountain pass of the Routeburn Track. Having hitch hiked my way from Queenstown to Glenorchy, I have been walking ever since…

It is about 26km to the start of the track. I have 19km left.

The day is passing too quickly for my liking. I shout to Sköll to slow his pace; Árvakr and Alsviðr could do with a rest… He pays no attention. Bloody wolves; at this rate, I won’t even make it to the very first hut before dusk – maybe not before nightfall.

Sometimes, it is tough being a Guildsman. Still, at least there is the scenery:

Glenorchy, New Zealand

Suddenly, a rumbling. A waterfall? A stampede of brahmin? Is Fenrir breaking free of his chains?

RAGNAROK IS UPON US!

Ah no. It is a car!

I stick out my thumb on a whim and, at the last moment, it pulls over. A little old lady called Margaret beacons for me to hop in. I am ashamed to say the honour of the Guild doesn’t even enter my mind – I am saved!

Margaret covers about 10km, telling me all about the stunning surrounding scenery. Apparently, this is Mordor! I resolve to storm the Black Gate, should I stumble across it.

Alas, the end of my ride comes too soon – at the end of the sealed road. I remember from a map on a wall that the unsealed road to the Routeburn is 9km long. It is 15:15… It is going to be a long day.

About the Author
Ed Gamester is a silly man who lives in the United Kingdom. He is the harbinger of Ghost Squad, singer of Gay Bum and author of A Rum Run Awry. He fights, kills and dies for TV and films, and gallivants around the place wrestling, drinking and lifting things for glory and profit. Where Ed treads, there stamp the boots of the Guild. Ed does not wear glasses, but feels this photograph makes him look more intelligent and artistically talented than he is. Feel free to contact him: he is disappointingly affable.

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