The Hardest Phone Call…

It’s that time of year again. Time to make the hardest phone call:

“Hello, Lolita. Yes, it’s me. I know I don’t call you very often, but it has been too long and it’s getting uncomfortable, especially at night when I’m trying to sleep. I don’t know exactly what I’m going to ask you to do, but you’re the only one I trust to be…discrete.

OK, I’ll let you take control if you insist, but just…please don’t go too far. What you did to me last time made me feel little embarrassed… I find this all quite awkward anyway; having to wash in your special sink beforehand, giving you my money when the deed is done and then leaving whilst I’m still wet – it’s all just a bit humiliating.

God, this call is always tough. Why do I feel so nervous? I mean, even my closest friends and family didn’t notice or comment last time and, when I finally told them what I’d done, they acted supportive…

Yet I always felt like I looked bad… I thought people were laughing behind my back. Just like every time before, I swore I’d learn from my mistakes and not let things get out of control again!

But I can’t help it. I can’t deny the state I’m in and I won’t be content until you’ve worked your magic on me. I know you’re busy – you do as many women as men these days – but when do you think you can fit me in?

Not until Friday?! Ah fuck it, I’ll go to Tony and Guy.”

About the Author
Ed Gamester is a silly man who lives in the United Kingdom. He is the harbinger of Ghost Squad, singer of Gay Bum and author of A Rum Run Awry. He fights, kills and dies for TV and films, and gallivants around the place wrestling, drinking and lifting things for glory and profit. Where Ed treads, there stamp the boots of the Guild. Ed does not wear glasses, but feels this photograph makes him look more intelligent and artistically talented than he is. Feel free to contact him: he is disappointingly affable.

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