1100 metres above sea level, jutting out 700 metres above lake Ringedalsvatnet in Western Norway…is Trolltunga. I want to go there…and caper. Here is why.
For one thing, its name means Troll’s Tongue in Norwegian. If that isn’t enough to make you want to ascend it, you’re in the wrong place and there is already a warrant out for you immediate en-awesomeing.
For another thing, it looks like THIS:
For a third and final thing (because all good things come in threes: Crème Eggs, Billy Goats Gruff and rhyming triplets, for example), Trolltunga is in an area called Handanger. That’s right, Hard Anger. Or Hard Danger, depending on how you want to interpret it and whether or not you can spell. Either way – BADASS!
Providing you don’t spend all day on the tongue, prancing around like a mad man (thus defeating the very point of climbing Trolltunga, in my opinion), the hike up and down takes around 8-10 hours and ascends roughly 900 metres through the mountains.
That’s a full working day of hiking up a kickass mountain to overlook an even more kickass lake from one of the most kickass rocks with undoubtedly the most kickass name. Compare that to a day in the office and let me know which ass comes up the rosier…
Naturally, I’d much rather climb the sheer rock face but, at this rate, I’m not going to be ready to do that until I’m old enough to make climbing ropes out of my own beard.
Still, it’s an ambition! Now, to see if I can work Norway into my plans…