Murorga Sim Bowa vs Crazy J: Official Video
Behold, my friends, an official video of me defending my EWA British Title against Crazy Jonny Jones, otherwise known as 15 of the most painful minutes of my life.
[youtube height=”360″ width=”640″]www.youtube.com/watch?v=67h6yp3KO94[/youtube]If you’d like to find out more about this match, please read on…
[toggle_box] [toggle_item title=”Match Spoilers”]Fearing my prowess in combat, Crazy J kicked things off by grabbing me by the hair – a tactic he used repeatedly throughout the match, much to the irritation of the young crowd, who like their wrestling clean and by the book.
[Editor’s note: we have never actually seen the book, but assume it exists.]
Luckily, a brief turn of super speed tipped the balance towards the Sim Bowa side of things, including some rather-too-violent fisticuffs outside the ring. At that point, however, I lost focus and a round of high fives concluded with Crazy J shutting me down and grinding my face into the crowd barrier, which was distinctly unpleasant.
Once I had regained my balance, however, I fired back with a few shots of my own and, sensing an opportunity, tried to whip him into the ring post! Sadly, that backfired. The next thing I knew, I was sprawled on the floor with a headache.
The next five minutes were little more than pain, as Crazy J took advantage of my brain-addled state to, basically, beat the living shit out of me. He started by dropping me on the very top of my head and finished by crushing my ribs and back in a move so fierce that a small boy asked me whether I was alright. I was not.
I nearly managed to fight my way out of a particularly tight sleeper hold, but again he grabbed me by the hair and yanked me to the ground – to the fury of some of the local children.
EVENTUALLY, however, he made a mistake; I avoided a flying elbow and, in a blur of energy I didn’t know I still had left, I unleashed with a series of assaults, including the Springboard Bum Face which, somehow, he managed to survive.
In fact, I may have overestimated how exhausted he was because, after a series of headbutts, I attempted one final running headbutt, only to fly straight past Crazy J and into the ringpost.
That was the start of the end, really. Although I managed to kick out of the Lobotomy and hit the War Giraffe, my head was spinning so much that, when an opportunity came to hit the DOOMBUTT, I took too long to find my balance. Instead of driving my head into Crazy J’s black heart (heh!), I managed to get kicked squarely in the face at full DOOMSPEED…
A few seconds later, I was more or less unconscious and my title belonged to another man. I would have wept, if I was weak. At least Crazy J had that decency to put me out of my misery, by blasting my in the side of the head with the title belt, which was me out for the night.
[/toggle_item] [toggle_item title=”Sim Bowa Highlights”]For any Sim Bowa fans out there, I did at least manage to hit half a dozen of my signature moves, which can be found at the following times in the video:
Murorga Spin Power at 13:30
Springboard Bum Face at 13:55
Butt Heads at 15:20
War Giraffe at 16:25
Blindside Broadside Suicide at 17:11
Doombutt at 18:08
