Singin’ The Blues
I’m singin’ the blues today. Goes a lil’ summin’ like this:
Woke up this mornin’,
My motorbike had been stole,
That’s right the motorbike,
That I parked outside ma home.I called the Police,
Told them what went down,
They said they’d see if they,
Could spot it drivin’ round town.“What’s your reg number?”
The Police asked me,
I said “I don’t know Po Po,
I don’t own the bike, you see.”They said “What the fuck?”
I said “I’ve got in on loan,
Since my other motorbike,
Got written off 6 weeks ago.”Lucky I got my old bike,
Repaired at great expense,
All I need is insurance and I can,
Forget about these events.So I called the insurance man,
Said “Can you sort me out, brother?”
He said, “For a Cat C write off?
No sir, we don’t do that kinda cover.”I guess on the plus side,
At least I have a car.
It does 8 miles to the gallon though,
So I can’t afford to drive too far.Oh and there’s one other problem,
That I did no foresee,
Car’s been down the garage since Download,
Coz it failed it’s MOT.To look on the bright side,
I s’pose I still have my legs.
Who needs a motorbike or car,
When you can walk instead?Now all I need is round about,
Four or five thousand pounds,
To pay for all this bullshit,
That insists on goin’ down.Maybe if I sold ’em all,
I’d be back on top,
Take ’em down into the town,
To the Ruined/Stolen Vehicles shop.Except that I can’t drive them,
Or I don’t know where they are,
Because one bike has been stolen,
One’s uninsured and the man has my car.So I guess there’s only one thing,
I can realistically do instead;
Crack open the last of the whisky,
And get smashed out of my head.Because looking to the future,
And looking on the upside,
There’s now very little chance of me,
Getting done for drink n’ drive.Of course I still need all that money,
So I guess I’ll have to choose,
Between walking all the way to work,
Or drinkin’ whisky n’ singin’ the blues.