I arrive in Byron in the middle of the night. My hostel, Aquarius, is a maelstrom of humanity – some of which is…sticky?! Apparently tonight is “Girls Wrestling In Jelly For Cash Prizes…Night”. I’m pretty broke…and I have long hair… Perhaps if I had a shave…

The fatigue of the day has driven me insane. I should rest. Or drink.

The bar parts with a scooner of beer for $5. This equates to just under £5 a pint. This is the “cheapest bar in Byron”. The feeling of dread that started in my stomach has moved to my mouth. Or maybe that’s just this terrible lager… It’s hard to tell, so I drink some more as an experiment.

I conclude it is both dread and lager. I also conclude that Dread Lager would make a fine Murderbeer.

The rest of the night is lost to bad beer, awkward social alienation and a lack of sleep in the hostel room.

I have a bad feeling about Byron…


About the Author
Ed Gamester is a silly man who lives in the United Kingdom. He is the harbinger of Ghost Squad, singer of Gay Bum and author of A Rum Run Awry. He fights, kills and dies for TV and films, and gallivants around the place wrestling, drinking and lifting things for glory and profit. Where Ed treads, there stamp the boots of the Guild. Ed does not wear glasses, but feels this photograph makes him look more intelligent and artistically talented than he is. Feel free to contact him: he is disappointingly affable.

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