Adventurethon 2013

Somehow, friends, I did it. 13km of open sea kayaking, 22km of mountain biking and 12km of trail running in the midday Australian summer heat.

It was horrendously hard…but not for the reasons I expected.

I expected the kayaking to be the killer. I’d never tried it before and I was certain I’d just capsize and never get back in. However, although I capsized the very moment the race started, I managed to get back in and – somehow – stay afloat.

In the end, the kayaking leg only took me an hour and a half, which was actually a little faster than quite a few of the other competitors.

That’s not to say it was easy; it ripped my hands to shreds and obliterated every muscle in my body, but I was fresh and far too concerned with falling into the sea to worry about the exhaustion.


The real killer of the course was the mountain bike element. Basically, I can’t mountain bike. I could cycle on the road but, as soon as I hit the mountainous parts of the course, I’d simply hit a rock and fall off the bike. In the end, I had no other option (for the sake of my bones) than to carry the bike for the best part of 22km, which took me 2 hours and 41 minutes.

Then it was time for the run and, by that point, I was cooked. The sun had baked me in my long sleeved black running shirt (what was I thinking?!) and, before I’d covered 1/4 of the distance, I collapsed into the mud and could not get back on my feet…

Eventually, I stripped off, cooled down and managed to get moving again. By the time I crossed the finish line, however, it had taken me 3 hours to run 12km, which is a new low – even when you consider I got lost in the bush for the best part of an hour.

Here, for your amusement, is a local news video of my performance…in all its comedy glory.


About the Author
Ed Gamester is a silly man who lives in the United Kingdom. He is the harbinger of Ghost Squad, singer of Gay Bum and author of A Rum Run Awry. He fights, kills and dies for TV and films, and gallivants around the place wrestling, drinking and lifting things for glory and profit. Where Ed treads, there stamp the boots of the Guild. Ed does not wear glasses, but feels this photograph makes him look more intelligent and artistically talented than he is. Feel free to contact him: he is disappointingly affable.

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