We started our 2014 travels in Iceland. Land...of ice. And spectacle. It seems only fitting, therefore, that we end it in the total opposite part of the word. The Sahara. By camel. Obviously. Typically, we arrive in a storm. Bad weather follows us around the globe. It's a wind st...
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It's January again; the time of year when everybody 'resolves' to do something life-changing. Normally, this is because a few days of summarising our annual news for friends and family forces us to acknowledge our own inactivity and apathy, which immediately disgusts us and makes us want to chang...
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After appearing on House Hunters International a few weeks ago, I have received lots of very kind messages from people who saw the show. This rocks! I can't express how grateful I am for the show of support; it's hard to stay convinced I'm doing anything worthwhile, so hearing that some peop...
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Last week, I successfully failed to climb Mount Taranaki. If that doesn't seem like a 'success' to you, you're simply not reading hard enough. Read harder. HARDER!! You'll get there. In short, Taranaki was covered in ice and the local adventurers wouldn't rent me any ice-climbing gear because they...
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I have a problem. Actually, I have a few. I have been sitting in New Plymouth (not the most rocking town in the world) since Tuesday afternoon, waiting to climb conquer the local piece of badassery - Mount Taranaki, 2600m high and the most lethal mountain in New Zealand. My problem is that New...
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Wellington. I turned up here on a whim to see Tenacious D and, a week later, I cannot leave. Every day, I wake up in time to check out of my hostel, intent on leaving the city... Every night, I check back into my hostel and vow to leave on the morrow. It is no use. I am smitten. I spend...
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Today was meant to be my first day in Nelson and, to be fair, it was. It was, however, also my last day in Nelson. I have already left... But let me start at the beginning of this silly tale. After failing to climb the Franz Josef glacier due to financial restraints (I am bankrupt), I caught a l...
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The time has come to leave Wanaka. There is much to do here, but I am exhausted and cannot do it justice. Instead, I pack my bags and walk a few kilometres to the main road. Here, after much waiting around, I manage to hitch a lift 300km from Wanaka to Franz Josef, via Lake Hawea. I am too tir...
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I don't know if this is a real thing...but I think I might be exhausted. It feels a bit like my body is shutting down; my legs aren't working properly, every part of my lower back aches for reasons I don't understand and the space between the roof of my mouth and my eyeballs feels like it is ...
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Today, my hangover told me it was the 19th of May - the birthday of Emperor Matt Bunn. (It is not the 19th of May. It is the 15th of May. I now realise this.) To honour him, I took inspiration from a large group of tourists in town, who were taking it in turns to climb upon a decorative rock and...
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Once I am out of Mossburn, I stop to catch my breath and readjust my backpack, which already weighs a ton. My knees throb and the lunacy of attempting to run 22km in this condition has dawned on me. Still, at least I have made some good distance towards Five Rivers. Casually I check my watch for...
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Today, I shall hitch hike back to Queenstown from Te Anau, after a week of walking in the mountains. Sarah and I have managed to get as far as Mossburn; I have jumped out at the turnoff for Queenstown and she has continued on to Dunedin, on her way back home to Candada. So here I stand, on Highway...
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Reading back, I realise I have been documenting my actions far more than my thoughts and feelings recently. Primarily, this is because I have been confused as of late; uncertain as to who I am and my position in life, let alone my ambitions and the progress I may or may not being making towards ful...
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I wake upon the final day of the Routeburn Track and check my clothes. They are drenched. All of them. Squishing myself back into my boots, I hit the road. I shall not be taking my time today. I shall be running, wherever possible - until I reach THE GREAT DIVIDE! In reality, the Divide is just th...
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I rise late in the Flats hut and break my fast on rye bread, whilst poring over a map of the area. Today, I shall cross over the mountain pass at a leisurely pace, to take in the spectacular views and scenery. If there is a better way to spend a day, I haven't found one...but it probably involves...
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The Road to Routeburn is largely uneventful. I chase a cow for a kilometre or so, until she manages to find her way back into her field. I expect she will now taste tainted...or something. The scenery is magnificent for the entire walk, but I am aware that I am still unlikely to make the Falls hu...
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Today, I shall start the Routeburn Track; 32 beautiful kilometres through the mountain pass between the Aspiring and Fjordland National Parks. I do not yet know how I'm getting there. I'm sure it will work out. As it turns out, a lovely Canadian girl called Sarah from my hostel is doing the...
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Here I am in the Adventure Capital of the World. All around me, people are performing brave and mighty deeds as if they were everyday activities! Here a man leaps from a bridge, there a woman hurls herself from a plane - on the other side of the city, groups of people hurtle along a river in a spe...
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When I was forged upon the great anvil in the sky, the prophets of men foretold that I would be the last. Like all prophets, however, their conviction was a weak as their grip. Before the Great Smith could even finish his work, the Nine Champions of Men were sent to bash Him in the face and send ...
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The Jailhouse hostel could not be any more different from the Arts Factory if it had been specifically designed as a crash-out room for tripping hippies. As it happens, it pretty much was! This is a historical jail, where they would hold convicted criminals prior to sentencing. I have stayed in...
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