Training: Day One

Tonight I conducted my first evening of training. I don’t know why you would be interested but, in case you are…

With the half marathon still 15-or-so weeks away, I decided it wasn’t worth starting my running training yet. After all, I hate running more than I hate… Hmm. Now this is a tricky one, because there are so few things I hate more than running that any comparison would seem ghastly; “I hate running more than I hate terrorism”, for example, is simply not the kind of thing one should joke about on a public blog… Bit late now… Never mind.

Suffice to say, I don’t enjoy running and intend to hold off jogging for as long as possible. Instead, with boxing training starting on Monday (hopefully) I decided to do strength workout that would harden my grip (so I can crush bricks in my hands like some kind of construction NINJA!), whilst developing the core strength required to withstand a pummelling. I therefore decided heavy deadlifts should be followed by weighted chin-ups and then bent barbell rows. Essentially, it was a back workout…for gripping things…with my back… Back-grip. Yes indeedy.

(Though many would recommend developing forearm strength for grip, I have to type all day at work tomorrow, so could do without being paralysed from the elbows down.)

Deadlifts went well. I took it steady and hit 180kg towards the end. Over time, that should help toughen me up for the coming weeks. I mean months… Oh Lord.

Chin-ups went fairly well. After a few warm up sets, I hung 30kg from a belt and did low-rep sets, to develop my grip and back strength. It is all a cunning plan so that, when I turn my back on my opponent, WHAM! I can… Alright, so the plan is so cunning that I haven’t quite figured it out for myself yet. It may or may not involve a porpoise – that is still to be decided.

Bent barbell rows didn’t go very well, as I was exhausted by that point and thinking of shepherd’s pie. (I was planning on having it for dinner – it doesn’t usually spring to mind at random). Not the best thing to have on your mind, shepherd’s pie… Not the best thing at all.

I then figured I should do some more specific training, so I did some hanging leg raises, to toughen up my abs for all the body shots I expect to ensure whilst boxing. I then finished my session with some ‘boxing’ (I hit a punch bag, without the foggiest idea of what I was doing). It was all about setting the mood…if you pardon the expression…

I have now had my shepherd’s pie and am heading shower-wards, to cleanse myself of agony.

Until next time…consider the birds.

About the Author
Ed Gamester is a silly man who lives in the United Kingdom. He is the harbinger of Ghost Squad, singer of Gay Bum and author of A Rum Run Awry. He fights, kills and dies for TV and films, and gallivants around the place wrestling, drinking and lifting things for glory and profit. Where Ed treads, there stamp the boots of the Guild. Ed does not wear glasses, but feels this photograph makes him look more intelligent and artistically talented than he is. Feel free to contact him: he is disappointingly affable.

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