Guildblog
Archive

August 2011

Archive

Faaaaail

Having spent last night deadlifting, I had no intention of returning to the gym today. However, by a strange series of events, I wound up back at the gym anyway. I decided to spend my time hitting a punching bag, then doing various kinds of biceps curl, in an attempt to avoid working anything I ha...

Continue reading ...

Starting from Scratch…Again

Having done very little training recently, I have to get back to the gym and the various sports I need to complete. Last week, I managed to fit in a couple of days of training. Tuesday 23rd Legs day: squats at 90kg and front squats at 60kg Wednesday 24th Back: pull-ups, chin-ups with 20kg and b...

Continue reading ...

Day Fourteen: Punching a Hydra

We have two goals for my final day in Poland: 1. Visit Memento Park to see statues from communist Budapest. 2. Pilgrimage to the statue of a man punching a hydra. We get up early, ten litres of beer from the night before still sloshing around in our bodies. Matt has damaged his toe by stubbing ...

Continue reading ...

Day Thirteen: Rocktogon

The heat is ridiculous. Sweat pours down our bodies as we traipse across Budapest to our new hostel. By the time we arrive, we are sodden and exhausted. The hostel man greets us. What's that? The room we're staying is on the other side of the city? By the train station? Where we just walked...

Continue reading ...

Day Twelve: The Baths

We leave Hostel Relax three hours earlier than the day before and head straight for the baths. The underground changing rooms are a teeming, squirming mass of humanity. We deposit our things in one of the rows upon row of lockers, linked by slippery walkways, and push our way up the stairs. Summo...

Continue reading ...

Day Eleven: The White Bridge

We wake up late, groggy from dreams. Damn this shaman tobacco! Hostel Relax is deserted, apart from the owner. She gives us a tour - all the way to the local shop and back. We need to get to the city, urgently. First, however, we must cross the White Bridge. Rusting and unloved, the white ...

Continue reading ...

Day Ten: Hostel Relax

Our bus pulls into Budapest at 23:00. The bus station is a sea of blue and red lights. Riot police are everywhere. We have no money, no map and no idea where our hostel is. Football fans flood the streets. Gods, what have we done? We abandoned Simon in Krakow, as he flies home tomorr...

Continue reading ...

Day Nine: The Green Faerie.

We awake in linen shirts, our heads pounding from wine and song. We break out fast on preaches, plums and pastries. Yoghurt with honey compliments strong coffee. We mope and despair. We are bohemians. Heading to the park, we read and continue to criticise one another's artwork. Before long, ...

Continue reading ...

Day Eight: Clothed in Linen

Breakfast involves a waffle covered in jam and punching the machine. I still fail to break 900. My wrist feels shattered. Arriving back in Krakow, we make a big decision. To be bohemians. Lunch involves 2 litres of red wine and lots of cigarettes. We criticise one another's operas. Especi...

Continue reading ...

Day Seven: Feats of Strength

My eyes creak open and the world spins. My wrist throbs with a dull pain, born of over-punching. After showering, we stalk the streets with one thing on our minds: feats of strength. There is only one problem...the night before. A bottle of vodka and fifteen litres of beer may not have been the ...

Continue reading ...

Simon comments:

I am in Zakopane, fighting mountains. Their size and tranquility offends me. This mountain thought itself my better, but I have trampled its heights beneath my feet. I have stood upon its pinnacle and cavorted like an ape, furious and triumphant. I have looked upon its rocky soul, and it knew its m...

Continue reading ...

Day Six: Punching, Singing and Mountain Climbing

Four hours after I head to bed, I wake up.  My throat burns.  The thirst is outrageous.  The drinking will likely kill me. Feverish sleep reclaims me. I dream of punching. Punching 900. Suddenly, Matt is awake.  Chaos descends.  Next thing I know, my blade is in hand and I am swinging it ab...

Continue reading ...

Day Five: To Zakopane.

The bus station is refusing to sell us a bus ticket to Zakopane.  Moments ago we had a bus ticket and a bus...now we have neither!  How has this happened?! Polaaaaaaaand!! It has come to pass that we have missed our bus, through feasting.  What's more, our attempts to exchange our ticket were ...

Continue reading ...

Singing Beasts

We have not travelled far, but reality is now a long way behind us. Societal norms are distant memories.  What it means to be As Man has changed forever.  I fear we cannot return. Nothing matters now.  Nothing but the songs we will sing of these days.  Nothing but ensuring every minute is sapp...

Continue reading ...

Ed Comments:

My eyes snap open. The room swims before me, the ceiling - mere inches from my face - bucks and spasms. Should I reach out and caress this demon? I attempt...and fail. I have neither the motivation nor motor skills. I am as beast. Suddenly, movement. Bunn - bringer of pain - engulfs my consci...

Continue reading ...

Matt comments:

I awake to the pertest of buttocks.  I lull back into what seems to be the most maddening of dreams.  I no longer realise what is real and what is my own insanity.  I fear. I awaken and realise all are asleep, and thus decide to read awful Norwegian crime novellas.  I shudder and weep at the ...

Continue reading ...

Simon Comments:

I gaze out upon the street. It is lined with brutalist, communist architecture: vast and uncompromising, like my penis. I have been many things, soldier, beggar-man, thief. Until Poland, neither lover nor felon. Tonight I did two things of worth; I fled a bill of perhaps five pounds, and I devoted ...

Continue reading ...

Day Four: Rejection Stroganoff

We start the day with wine. A bottle each. This is life. This is pain. This is Poland. Lunch involes pizza, pasta...and scallops James. What these are, we know not at all. But they are hot. So hot. Simon burns his giant, alien hands. Scallps James...what hast thou doenst? We take a seat...

Continue reading ...

Day Three: The Dragon

We are trapped in a square. How this happened – a mystery. Apparently, we visited the castle. Oh yes, Simon is here. He is enormous. We are convinced he shouldn't be here for another day at least. We did not plan for this... We meet him in the street. We are not human - we are essential...

Continue reading ...