Jousting. You Heard Me. Jousting.

As part of my Gold Challenge, I am required to do a horse-based event. Given that I don’t know how to ride a horse, however, that pretty much limits me to dressage…or something equally…well…y’know.

Now, don’t get me wrong here. Horse riding can damn cool. CAN BE damn cool. The stuff I see in the Olympics, however…let’s just say it isn’t me. Still, I did agree to try as many of these sports as possible. As a compromise, therefore, I decided to saddle up, but try something a little more badass…like jousting.

Oh, did I mentioned I’m also allergic to horses?

So, I packed my pockets full of anti-histamine, fired up the Datsun and rocketed my way to Warwick International School of Riding, to meet the Knights of Middle England. After a morning of archery and broadsword fighting, I teamed up with Taz – a big ol’ horse – and learnt to ride…with a lance in my hand, naturally.

As well as spearing golden rings (which I completely failed at) and spearing pretend peasant heads off the ground, we did a whole lot of jousting against quintains – the rotating targets. Eventually, some of us jousted against the instructors. Sadly, however, I wasn’t really…reliable enough, to joust another human. It was probably just as well too; by that point the allergy medication had me reeling in the saddle and barely capable of holding my eyes open.

Even so, it was a kickass day, a great introduction to riding and and a huge amount of fun. I then fell asleep driving home and nearly crashed the Datsun into a brick wall. A good day.

About the Author
Ed Gamester is a silly man who lives in the United Kingdom. He is the harbinger of Ghost Squad, singer of Gay Bum and author of A Rum Run Awry. He fights, kills and dies for TV and films, and gallivants around the place wrestling, drinking and lifting things for glory and profit. Where Ed treads, there stamp the boots of the Guild. Ed does not wear glasses, but feels this photograph makes him look more intelligent and artistically talented than he is. Feel free to contact him: he is disappointingly affable.

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