After much...doing of things, I have decided to take a week off to drink and sleep. I have chosen Portugal as the location for my drinking and sleeping. Of course, I'm not really very good and doing nothing. Luckily, nor is my dad! As such, I'm confident there will be running, football and fea...
Continue reading ...As I sit here, at the Bounty pub, the sun warming my aching back and illuminating my beer like a shit lava lamp, I am content for the first time since I came back from my inhuman adventure in Poland. It isn't just because I am wearing my favourite (and only) tailor-made, black silk shirt. It isn't ...
Continue reading ...It's true what they say, you know. You get nothing for nothing. Unless, of course, you are Ryan Air. In which case, you get £160 for doing absolutely nothing whatsoever. That is how much money it has cost me to delay my outgoing flight to Portugal by 24 hours, so I can attend the Gold Challenge Ol...
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First off, don't panic - this is an old X-ray. It was taken after a gig I played at the Hoxton Underbelly last year. I punched the stage at the end of the second song of the set and broke my knuckle. I couldn't really get a good photo of it, but you can see where the end of the 5th metacar...
Continue reading ...I am in Zakopane, fighting mountains. Their size and tranquility offends me. This mountain thought itself my better, but I have trampled its heights beneath my feet. I have stood upon its pinnacle and cavorted like an ape, furious and triumphant. I have looked upon its rocky soul, and it knew its m...
Continue reading ...My eyes snap open. The room swims before me, the ceiling - mere inches from my face - bucks and spasms. Should I reach out and caress this demon? I attempt...and fail. I have neither the motivation nor motor skills. I am as beast. Suddenly, movement. Bunn - bringer of pain - engulfs my consci...
Continue reading ...I awake to the pertest of buttocks. I lull back into what seems to be the most maddening of dreams. I no longer realise what is real and what is my own insanity. I fear. I awaken and realise all are asleep, and thus decide to read awful Norwegian crime novellas. I shudder and weep at the ...
Continue reading ...I gaze out upon the street. It is lined with brutalist, communist architecture: vast and uncompromising, like my penis. I have been many things, soldier, beggar-man, thief. Until Poland, neither lover nor felon. Tonight I did two things of worth; I fled a bill of perhaps five pounds, and I devoted ...
Continue reading ...I have been having problems with my right ankle. It has been weak for a week which, despite being a lovely rhyme, has been disrupting the small amount of training I have managed with my dodgy elbow and wheezing lungs. On Monday, I noticed the sole of my foot hurting quite a lot whilst skipping at ...
Continue reading ...I'm meant to be boxing tonight, but a combination of injury and illness is holding me back... For the last few months, I've been having trouble with my left elbow which, as far as I can tell, has resulted in some form of trapped or pinched nerve. This has been making things difficult... For the l...
Continue reading ...So it turns out the pigs at Youtube and/or various music labels have decided to remove the audio from my videos, or ban them altogether in some countries. This does not please me... [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6p6APl1Z1aI&w=480&h=390] I work hard on those videos, but I under...
Continue reading ...It has been around 36 hours since I pledged to do 30 sports for charity and my funding has reached £410.25 (including Gift Aid). This is...beyond awesome! Thank you to everybody who has donated so far and please keep pestering people to sponsor me, as I intend to start training this very evening!...
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