I love Airbnb, but the booking process is deeply culturally insensitive towards English people. By the time we've penned an informal yet appropriately polite booking request (complete with apologies for potential slight inconveniences) then rewritten it multiple times to ensure we are using vocab...
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"A Guildsman does not train for events. He wanders the Earth being mighty. He performs feats as fleeting extensions of his power. Like flexing." So sayeth the Guildsman's handbook, the code by which I live. Today, however, I am feeling a tad apprehensive about my blasé approach to physical challe...
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Today is the day I fly to L.A. Waking up is a multi-tiered and painful process. It begins at some ungodly hour, when Vikki's alarm goes off. She is catching a very early train to Birmingham. By the time she has her lunch, I will be mid-air. In a plane, hopefully. I wake up again when Vikki...
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Cuba is one of those places. Like Iceland. Somewhere almost everybody wants to visit, but never does. Of course, going to Cuba is exactly as easy as going just about anywhere. You buy a plane ticket, get on a plane and - hey presto - you're in Cuba! And yes, it's exactly like you imagine it - and...
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We started our 2014 travels in Iceland. Land...of ice. And spectacle. It seems only fitting, therefore, that we end it in the total opposite part of the word. The Sahara. By camel. Obviously. Typically, we arrive in a storm. Bad weather follows us around the globe. It's a wind st...
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We break our fast on cakes. That is the Moroccan way. Pancakes, with a side of normal cake...and bread. All smothered in jam and honey. Add to that a steaming pot of coffee and another of mint tea, a yoghurt, a cup of pomegranate, cheese, and a gallon of freshly squeezed blood orange juice...and you...
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Vikki and I spent this weekend in Belfast. Neither of us had been there before and, seeing as she had to be there on Monday morning for work anyway, it made sense to take the opportunity to check it out. Our flight, however, was at 07:00 from Manchester. We live in Sheffield. Needless to say, whe...
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Everybody knows that we Guildsmen honour the Full Moon and, in return, are blessed with twice our normal strength beneath its glow (when it bothers coming out from behind the clouds). I am not a man prone to 'freaking', but when I discovered that January-2014's Full Moon (the Wolf Moon) lands exa...
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Seriously, fuck travelling by bus in Laos. It is 600km from Luang Prabang to Chiang Rai...and it has taken us 40 hours. FORTY HOURS!! That's long enough to build my own bus, find and extract my own oil for petrol AND drive to bloody Thailand! 40 hours. Most of which were spent thus: [galler...
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After some much-needed recovery time in Vang Vieng, we catch a morning minibus to Luang Prabang. Although it isn't a very long bus by our standards, it is probably one of the worst; the road to Luang Prabang is slow and winding to a nauseating extent. It is a mere 185km, but it takes us all day a...
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24 hours after eating our Happy Pizzas, we are still pretty stoned. 48 hours later, we still feel rather strange. The last 2 days have been hell. Who mixes weed and mushrooms?! As if thinking something is trying to kill you isn't bad enough, now you can see it too! To be fair, it probably doesn't...
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After an enjoyable but harrowing few days in Cambodia, the time came for us to move on. To help us get over the sights of the Killing Fields, we went out for a drink. Being us, this quickly turned into 15 drinks as we steadily worked our way through the entire cocktail menu. By the end of the...
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After our energetic day around Angkor Wat, we relaxed for the rest of our stay in Siem Reap. The following day we ate three cakes, drank lots of beer and did nothing more active than looking around the old market, where we purchased some trousers more suited to the Cambodian climate. This was the...
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Having spent three days in Bangkok, eating cakes, drinking bad cocktails and getting excellent massages, it was clear the time had come to venture elsewhere - lest this year's foray into South East Asia turn into nothing more than an implosion of hedonism. It was, therefore, with the perverted e...
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I love it in New Zealand. This place has everything; the people are delightful, there are mountains and lakes absolutely everywhere and the general attitude is positive, pro-active and inspiring. What it doesn't have, however, is very much good music...and hardly any festivals. Specifically, i...
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I have just spent a week in Orc Land. [Titter.] See what I did there? Because it's New Zealand...and the Lord of the Rings...and...and... Ah, screw you guys. My brilliance is wasted on you. Only kidding - it's hurtful jokes day, after all! What's that? It isn't? But, they told me....
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Last week, I successfully failed to climb Mount Taranaki. If that doesn't seem like a 'success' to you, you're simply not reading hard enough. Read harder. HARDER!! You'll get there. In short, Taranaki was covered in ice and the local adventurers wouldn't rent me any ice-climbing gear because they...
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I have a problem. Actually, I have a few. I have been sitting in New Plymouth (not the most rocking town in the world) since Tuesday afternoon, waiting to climb conquer the local piece of badassery - Mount Taranaki, 2600m high and the most lethal mountain in New Zealand. My problem is that New...
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Today, it is way too cold to climb Mount Taranaki. Tomorrow the weather will be better. So I wait... ...and eat cake...and drink tea...and stare at Mount Taranaki. I'm getting inside its head. Psyching it out for the big day. I'm playing mind games with a mountain. This is mental warfar...
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Wellington. I turned up here on a whim to see Tenacious D and, a week later, I cannot leave. Every day, I wake up in time to check out of my hostel, intent on leaving the city... Every night, I check back into my hostel and vow to leave on the morrow. It is no use. I am smitten. I spend...
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