Yes, you read that correctly. A marathon. On ice. Why? Because I'd never done a marathon before and would probably never do one again, so I might as well make it memorable: by doing it on frozen lake in Norway, as part of the World Ice Running Championships. Thus, the Oarsman! We drove from O...
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For those who don't know, a Spartan Sprint, Super and Beast race all within a single year. Or, if you are a Guildsman: a single weekend. After all, how hard can it be? Preparation Being a man of The Guild, I believe the best preparation is no preparation. That way I am always equally prepa...
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Every January, over 1000 people fail to cross the finish line of Tough Guy. Normally, it’s because of the cold: even on relatively warm years, the combination of water, wind and exposure cripples hundreds. “It’s not cold enough for hypothermia” St. John’s Ambulance service tells me ever...
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--- This post is adapted from a letter I wrote to a lovely man called Carl, who received my book A Rum Run Awry as a father’s day gift. When I came to write up the story for my blog, I realised that my letter to Carl was close to being the best summary I was capable of writing, so here it is. ---...
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I am not a Spartan Race World Champion. Let's just clear that up right now. Anybody could pay to enter the race in Lake Tahoe and not run in the elite wave. Indeed, about 10,000 people did exactly that - myself included, side by side with Scott and Amber Keneally. I say "side by side". I mean...
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"A Guildsman does not train for events. He wanders the Earth being mighty. He performs feats as fleeting extensions of his power. Like flexing." So sayeth the Guildsman's handbook, the code by which I live. Today, however, I am feeling a tad apprehensive about my blasé approach to physical challe...
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During the Superhuman Games this weekend, there were moments when I had some doubts. Whilst collapsed on the grass, for example, with my eyes screwed tight shut in an effort to stop them exploding out of my skull. There was a hole in at least one of my lungs. There was a throwing axe buried in...
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On Sunday morning, with hangovers that would kill lesser men, the Guild of Adventures donned our running gear (I made mine by taking a knife to my trousers), wrapped socks around our shoes to keep them on...and strode out onto the Killing Fields of Tough Guy Nettle Warrior 2013... [caption id="at...
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Somehow, friends, I did it. 13km of open sea kayaking, 22km of mountain biking and 12km of trail running in the midday Australian summer heat. It was horrendously hard...but not for the reasons I expected. I expected the kayaking to be the killer. I'd never tried it before and I was certain I'...
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I have not finished...but I am finished. I am also lost. In the Australian bush. God damn it. I have nothing left. The kayaking stole my strength, the mountain biking crushed my spirit and now here I am, face down in the sand. I am not getting up. I don't even want to. This is the most e...
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By the time I pick up my mountain bike, my mind and body have separated. My body is a shell; a hollow, useless husk. Yet my mind is aflame. For the first time since I signed up for the Enduro Adventurethon, I believe I can complete it. A seemingly impossible 13km of sea kayaking are behind ...
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“If you don't know how to kayak, you may as well give up now.” So says this professional, in his pre-Adventurethon interview. Clearly he has never met an adventurer of The Guild before. We never give up. Ever. And we don't know how to do anything! Due to the weather (there has just be...
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I cannot kayak. This I now know for a fact. A deeply concerning fact... After a morning of exploring Townsville, I hitch a ride with over to Magnetic Island with Derek from Winner Kayaks. He is kindly lending me both a sea kayak and a mountain bike for tomorrow's Adventurethon. He has sugge...
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Today, I decided that running 6km at a time was going to get me nowhere fast. Or rather, it would get me exactly 6km...and rather slowly. Useless. The only thing within a 3km radius of my house is Tesco Express and, if I want to go there, I'll drive. For one thing, it is a petrol station and, fo...
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According to the Native American calendar, the 22nd of March will see the end of the Wolf Month and the start of the Month of the Falcon. Oh, it will also be two year to the day since I started this blog... In honour of this tradition of naming months after kickass animals (as well as some disappo...
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