For those who don't know, a Spartan Sprint, Super and Beast race all within a single year. Or, if you are a Guildsman: a single weekend. After all, how hard can it be? Preparation Being a man of The Guild, I believe the best preparation is no preparation. That way I am always equally prepa...
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This weekend Ghost Squad returned to the summer version of Tough Guy, Nettle Warrior, to do what we do best... ...whatever that is! [gallery type="rectangular" ids="8000,8002,8052,8051,8050,8039,8038,8037,8036,8035,8034,8033,8032,8031,8030,8029,8028"]...
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It finally happened. After a lifetime of writing nonsense, I finally managed to focus for long enough to write a whole book. It's still nonsense, and looks like no other book you've ever seen in your life...but I love it. It's based on the characters and island invented by Darrell Thorpe of D...
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Herein lies the recipe for parsnip and parmesan soup, as passed down from generation to generation of mighty Guildsmen who like their soups like they like their gold: golden. If, like me, you find the whole process of food preparation to be a needless waste of time, just do this: HACK: slice s...
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--- This post is adapted from a letter I wrote to a lovely man called Carl, who received my book A Rum Run Awry as a father’s day gift. When I came to write up the story for my blog, I realised that my letter to Carl was close to being the best summary I was capable of writing, so here it is. ---...
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After 96 intense hours, the days leading up to and including Tough Guy 2016 have finally released me from their carnival of madness. I don't have the words to describe them. I really don't. Possibly because I am physically and mentally exhausted, but possibly also because the descriptive potentia...
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Two years ago, I announced on this blog that I was "working on something". Well, it's finally finished - and you can pre-order it right here, right now! It's a 300+ page, fully illustrated adventure diary, written by me and set in the world of Darrell Thorpe's illustrations. And it looks a...
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This weekend, the Ghost Squad descended upon Coventry for the inaugural Mudnificent 7, mud racing expo and combo-race. Seven different obstacle races, each of whom transformed 1km of a park into a representation of their own race: Tough Guy Big Foot Challenge Reaper Events Bear Grylls Survival...
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During the Superhuman Games this weekend, there were moments when I had some doubts. Whilst collapsed on the grass, for example, with my eyes screwed tight shut in an effort to stop them exploding out of my skull. There was a hole in at least one of my lungs. There was a throwing axe buried in...
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Or: HOW TO PREPARE FOR TOUGH GUY by the Guild of Adventurers The start of February marked four years since I first strode boldly (hobbled like a three-legged, drunken crab) onto the Killing Fields of South Perton Farm, to take part in the original and hardest obstacle race on the planet: Tough ...
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Photos from Tough Guy Nettle Warrior 2014 have been popping all over the place over the last fortnight. They first starting appearing on Yahoo News, in which I appeared as part of their Pictures of the Week - alongside a view of the Earth from space: After that, various other pictures ...
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This weekend, the Guild gathered in Perton near Wolverhampton for the madness of Tough Guy Nettle Warrior 2014. We arrived on Saturday and spent the day marshaling: taking charge of an obstacle and ensuring that everybody made it over safely and knew where they were going afterwards. I found myse...
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This is the recipe for four bowls of Guild Oxatouille; ratatouille made from the mighty ox instead of the feeble rat. It looks like gruel, but tastes delicious and barely takes any time to craft because we'd all rather be out performing mighty deeds than standing around cooking. BEWARE: one bowl ...
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This week, the Guild struck out for the Lake District in search of a secret cave somewhere in the Langstrath Valley. Simon set out on Tuesday afternoon and picked me up in Sheffield. Even if we couldn't find the cave that day, we were hoping for a sneak peak into the valley when we arrived. Alas,...
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On Sunday morning, with hangovers that would kill lesser men, the Guild of Adventures donned our running gear (I made mine by taking a knife to my trousers), wrapped socks around our shoes to keep them on...and strode out onto the Killing Fields of Tough Guy Nettle Warrior 2013... [caption id="at...
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This weekend, effectively gate-crashing a romantic getaway for my good friend Sam Steak Davis and his delightful girlfriend Rosie, the Guild descended upon Pembroke in Wales with the intention of going deep water soloing. For the confused amoungst you; Deep-water soloing (DWS) is a form of solo roc...
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This morning, I got up at 05:30 and drove my brother Will to the airport. He is flying to Estonia, to cycle around the country for three weeks. I am purple with jealousy and respect. Although there are too few moneys in my bank account and too many events in my calendar to allow me to go with him...
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The day after Gay Bum's first gig after 2 years was as painful as expected. In part, this is because Phill decided he needed to fight me until the wee hours of Saturday morning... Otherwise, it was the massive excess of drinking that destroyed me. Oh and the gig itself. I had honestly and embarra...
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Today, I climbed Mount Doom. For those too boring to be familiar with Lord of the Rings, please see below: The ascent of the mountain, which is actually a volcano called Mount Ngauruhoe, starts a couple of hours into the Tongariro Crossing. Alas, I was told by my shuttle bus driver that I wou...
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I have a problem. Actually, I have a few. I have been sitting in New Plymouth (not the most rocking town in the world) since Tuesday afternoon, waiting to climb conquer the local piece of badassery - Mount Taranaki, 2600m high and the most lethal mountain in New Zealand. My problem is that New...
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