Yes, you read that correctly. A marathon. On ice. Why? Because I'd never done a marathon before and would probably never do one again, so I might as well make it memorable: by doing it on frozen lake in Norway, as part of the World Ice Running Championships. Thus, the Oarsman! We drove from O...
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For those who don't know, a Spartan Sprint, Super and Beast race all within a single year. Or, if you are a Guildsman: a single weekend. After all, how hard can it be? Preparation Being a man of The Guild, I believe the best preparation is no preparation. That way I am always equally prepa...
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This weekend Ghost Squad returned to the summer version of Tough Guy, Nettle Warrior, to do what we do best... ...whatever that is! [gallery type="rectangular" ids="8000,8002,8052,8051,8050,8039,8038,8037,8036,8035,8034,8033,8032,8031,8030,8029,8028"]...
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--- I have backdated this post to the weekend of Tough Guy - 29th of January 2017. In reality, I didn't start writing it until about April and then ignored it until July. --- There was a fallout after Tough Guy. Hell, there was a fallout BEFORE Tough Guy when Mr. Mouse hinted that it might not a...
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I love Airbnb, but the booking process is deeply culturally insensitive towards English people. By the time we've penned an informal yet appropriately polite booking request (complete with apologies for potential slight inconveniences) then rewritten it multiple times to ensure we are using vocab...
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It finally happened. After a lifetime of writing nonsense, I finally managed to focus for long enough to write a whole book. It's still nonsense, and looks like no other book you've ever seen in your life...but I love it. It's based on the characters and island invented by Darrell Thorpe of D...
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Herein lies the recipe for parsnip and parmesan soup, as passed down from generation to generation of mighty Guildsmen who like their soups like they like their gold: golden. If, like me, you find the whole process of food preparation to be a needless waste of time, just do this: HACK: slice s...
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--- This post is adapted from a letter I wrote to a lovely man called Carl, who received my book A Rum Run Awry as a father’s day gift. When I came to write up the story for my blog, I realised that my letter to Carl was close to being the best summary I was capable of writing, so here it is. ---...
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After 96 intense hours, the days leading up to and including Tough Guy 2016 have finally released me from their carnival of madness. I don't have the words to describe them. I really don't. Possibly because I am physically and mentally exhausted, but possibly also because the descriptive potentia...
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Two years ago, I announced on this blog that I was "working on something". Well, it's finally finished - and you can pre-order it right here, right now! It's a 300+ page, fully illustrated adventure diary, written by me and set in the world of Darrell Thorpe's illustrations. And it looks a...
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I am not a Spartan Race World Champion. Let's just clear that up right now. Anybody could pay to enter the race in Lake Tahoe and not run in the elite wave. Indeed, about 10,000 people did exactly that - myself included, side by side with Scott and Amber Keneally. I say "side by side". I mean...
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"A Guildsman does not train for events. He wanders the Earth being mighty. He performs feats as fleeting extensions of his power. Like flexing." So sayeth the Guildsman's handbook, the code by which I live. Today, however, I am feeling a tad apprehensive about my blasé approach to physical challe...
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Today is the day I fly to L.A. Waking up is a multi-tiered and painful process. It begins at some ungodly hour, when Vikki's alarm goes off. She is catching a very early train to Birmingham. By the time she has her lunch, I will be mid-air. In a plane, hopefully. I wake up again when Vikki...
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This weekend, the Ghost Squad descended upon Coventry for the inaugural Mudnificent 7, mud racing expo and combo-race. Seven different obstacle races, each of whom transformed 1km of a park into a representation of their own race: Tough Guy Big Foot Challenge Reaper Events Bear Grylls Survival...
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During the Superhuman Games this weekend, there were moments when I had some doubts. Whilst collapsed on the grass, for example, with my eyes screwed tight shut in an effort to stop them exploding out of my skull. There was a hole in at least one of my lungs. There was a throwing axe buried in...
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Cuba is one of those places. Like Iceland. Somewhere almost everybody wants to visit, but never does. Of course, going to Cuba is exactly as easy as going just about anywhere. You buy a plane ticket, get on a plane and - hey presto - you're in Cuba! And yes, it's exactly like you imagine it - and...
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Or: HOW TO PREPARE FOR TOUGH GUY by the Guild of Adventurers The start of February marked four years since I first strode boldly (hobbled like a three-legged, drunken crab) onto the Killing Fields of South Perton Farm, to take part in the original and hardest obstacle race on the planet: Tough ...
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We started our 2014 travels in Iceland. Land...of ice. And spectacle. It seems only fitting, therefore, that we end it in the total opposite part of the word. The Sahara. By camel. Obviously. Typically, we arrive in a storm. Bad weather follows us around the globe. It's a wind st...
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We break our fast on cakes. That is the Moroccan way. Pancakes, with a side of normal cake...and bread. All smothered in jam and honey. Add to that a steaming pot of coffee and another of mint tea, a yoghurt, a cup of pomegranate, cheese, and a gallon of freshly squeezed blood orange juice...and you...
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Photos from Tough Guy Nettle Warrior 2014 have been popping all over the place over the last fortnight. They first starting appearing on Yahoo News, in which I appeared as part of their Pictures of the Week - alongside a view of the Earth from space: After that, various other pictures ...
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